I have the attention span of a goldfish. That’s an overcritical statement. But, it is a sentence that has truth to it. Because, very honestly saying, there have been too many situations in life where I retrospectively realized that I was not the listener who focused on paying attention. In those instances, my body was there, but my mind quickly took a U-turn. Hence, to be very frank, I was not the audience I would hope for myself. But, what is the core reason behind the lack of vigilance in some conversations? Why are extreme issues like pseudo-listening so widespread in our society? I have heard multiple opinions on the possible reasons behind the absence of one’s mind. To answer that for myself, I decided to brainstorm and connect the dots, which may or may not be relevant in elucidating inattentiveness but certainly brings me a step closer to investing time in myself as a receiver of choice. But, a disclaimer to all the points: It is highly subjective, as many thoughts in life are.
To be all ears you need to have an interest in the topic of debate. Because at the end of the day, interest can persuade one to listen. Be it the strive to be involved in an area of expertise or the hunger to accumulate new knowledge, one is never to be busy if it is a burning matter to one's advantage. But, on the contrary, if the subject is not someone’s cup of tea, things can look slightly different. Is it not a topic, which plays a detrimental role or at least gives a small benefit to one’s being? Say no more, as distraction is at hand and there to stir up minds.
On the contrary, conversations are not always led with the intention to expand one’s understanding. They are not always driven by curiosity and the craving to deepen one’s knowledge. Sometimes, they are merely based on biases. I am talking about the inherent nature of clinging to preconceived notions. I am referring to the small, small habitual thoughts of assigning personalities to clusters. Those processes of pigeonholing are filled with predeterminations on how individuals are and how certain thinkings need to have one specific meaning. So, do we really listen when we apparently have comprehended what the context is or judged the information to the core while listening, if not beforehand?
Do we like running against the clock in conversations too? Sometimes, I think I do. Before a sentence has been finished, the next one must somehow be formulated and ready to be released. And sadly, oftentimes the self-determined urge to have answers, explanations, and justifications is stronger than the inclination to listen. And that impatience is difficult. It is tiring. It is time-consuming at the end of the day. Especially if it’s active while conversing, it can be a true burden. Because it is definitely not that restlessness is explicit. It is the implicit conviction that we are out of time.
So what did I conclude?
Honestly, I am not a communication expert to verify the points I mentioned. I am solely extracting ideas from a few experiences. Because, when all is said and done, we may not have the same influences and reasons. Thus, some might be highly advanced in being active listeners, while others are still trying to mark out the path to listening intently. So, please feel free to agree to disagree with me. However, personally, being in a life stage that, more than ever, is about lifting and strengthening my relationships, makes me face the reality that, every so often, I could be a better listener. I could continue to take the road until my exit is in sight. In the fullness of time, I could be the audience I would hope for myself.
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